Our Tita's 1st Death Anniversary: The reward of selfless Love

Endings are also beginnings. Endings, like the passing of loved ones, in our case, our most beloved Tita Beb, was a painful parting. Her presence, her smile, the comfort she gave us...we thought they would be with us forever. And then she passed, without warning, as if she was called for some higher work.

Today marks the first year since then, and my sister Nenen and I would like to think that it marks the beginning of her life as our guardian angel. We still feel her, a kind of comfort when all else fails and things seem desperate, a warm confirmation of God hearing the despair and confusion in the deepest of our hearts in our prayers when we have nothing else to hold on. It's a sense where you just know, Tita's there. Since she passed, I have always felt her guiding me, as I go through the difficulties of my research, chasing after that one dream. She's saying, "It's OK Tata, you can do it." I miss her, how I wish i had spent time with her more and let her know how much I love her. She nurtured me as a fragile child, helping me get better grades, getting to the top of my class, recovering from the beatings and violence inflicted by parents who couldn't help themselves.

She'd do it simply, half the time it's just giving me a hug, or taking my sister Nenen Amour (and sometimes with our little brothers Cory and Nikko) and myself to a treat where we would share a bowl of Batchoy from a stall in the town's dirty market, ran by a certain Berting and his wife. The aroma of the pork and beef broth made from simmering pork and beef bones for hours gets the appetite going. The yellow miki noodles is al dente and oiled, the meat toppings of pork, beef and liver enhanced by deep fried garlic flakes and minced scallions. We would share a 500 ml bottle of Pepsi and a side dish of puto. As we ate, Tita would gaze at us with a gentle smile, as if our happiness is the greatest reward.

Through the years I also came upon that amazing feeling of being happy when the souls I love the most are happy. I think I only came upon that perspective and it's reward because of her. My sister Nenen Amour is the same. She is an amazing mom to my nieces Xam and Pipay and I know when her babies are happy my sister couldn't be any happier too. That's our Tita Beb in us.

We remember you always Tita Beb, and today we mark your ascendance to the ranks of Angels.

Love,

Tata (& Nenen)

In pictures: Tita with Xam a few years back when Xam played an Angel in a town event; Tita with Pipay as a toddler - she loved her grandnieces fiercely; our favorite noodle soup, the Ilonggo Batchoy - image from Kusina Master 2022.

Comments

Linaswa nga Tugabang kag Alugbati

At some point in Philippine summers (which is generally from the end of the school term in March until the beginning of June, where midway, at least in central Philippines, Panay island experiences a 'spring' where May flowers akin to lilac and fragrant flowering trees that resemble cherry blossoms in shades of white, yellow, pink and red bloom), there comes a time when our Tita Beb and the entire family runs short of cash. On the general, it is probably likely after the closing ceremonies in gradeschool where Tita was a second grade teacher since recognition ceremonies were my sister Amour and I have always ended up first in our class academically and thus (ahem...a point of pride here in our young lives) needed new clothes to receive our academic ribbons and medals we won in quiz bees through the school year. To be presentable in front of the whole school where honor students and their parents put their best foot forward is an annual occasion that many families in the town a...

Tungod sa Iya (Because of Her)

Where it Begins I am the eldest of 5, born of highly passionate parents often lost in their passions. Parents so indulged and involved in themselves, their feelings, their situations that often, their children played second, even third fiddle to their needs. Highly educated with much expectations upon him, our father's life plan was laid out before he met our mother, whose youth and beauty literally brought down to ashes anyone ever seeing those dreams and expectations of him come true. Their love was dramatic and in a sense, toxic; much of our childhood my siblings and I witnessed rows so violent and making-up so passionate that it seemed to us their love blinds them to responsibility - of sending their children to school, teaching them, clothing them, nurturing them and feeding them so that at the very least, they might live and have a future. Instead, on those terrible days when Juliet has upset Romeo or when Romeo has been deeply agitated by Juliet, one of us children would be...

Chippy vs. Mr. Chips

Written on 12/12/ 2021/ Barotac Viejo, Iloilo, Philippines Note: The recollection below has been written by my sister, Atty. Retzel Amour C. Villaruz, whom we fondly call Nenen Amour. When I was pregnant with Pipay*, I craved for Chippy** while watching all those shows on TV, especially the Bayani Juan segment on Eat Bulaga*. I asked my husband Wilmer to buy me some; but when he got home, he bought me Mr. Chips** instead. I was so disappointed because my taste buds were longing, craving for the snack. I told him I'll name our kid Chippy, so how could he have forgotten to bring me Chippy but bought me Mr. Chips instead. "Chippy" & Mr. Chips" crisps/snacks by Universal Robina Corp. (above & below) Tita Beb consoled me and said: "Baklan ta ka, karon ah." (I'll buy some for you in a bit.) When Tita Beb got home later on after her shopping trip, she brought me two big red bags of Chippys. Thing is, they turned out to not be as tasty as I craved them...

Because she was there

Search This Blog